Customs

This article is about the known customs in the known world. Most information will reflect the customs as they are in the Seven Kingdoms, though customs as they are elsewhere will be stated whenever possible.    

Inheritance

See also: Law and justice > Inheritance   The laws of inheritance in the Seven Kingdoms come from multiple different groups of people who for culture and geography evolved over the ages differently and because of this, they are vague, uncodified, subject to varying interpretations, and often contradictory, What is accepted in the far North or upon the Iron Islands is not what is acceptable near White Harbor or in the Riverlands, what might be common in the Reach is far different than what is expected in Dorne.   Male-preference primogeniture is customary, but not binding, for most nobles. A man's eldest son is his heir, followed by his second son, then his third son, and so on. In theory, the youngest son is followed in the line of succession by the eldest daughter, after whom come her sisters in birth order.   Andal tradition holds that the rights of a trueborn son come before those of a daughter. In most of the Seven Kingdoms, including the Iron Islands and the north, a man's daughter inherits before her father's brother. No distinction is made between sons and daughters in Dorne, however, where children inherit in order of birth regardless of gender, as per Rhoynish custom. In the case of an inheriting female, her last name will be passed on to her children, instead of the name of her husband.   A lord has the option of naming one of his younger sons heir, passing over his elder children, or to name the child of another as his heir. When a ruling lord dies and leaves no clear heir, his widow might lay claim upon his lands and rule until her own death, and in such a case, might name an heir by herself.   A lord may lay out specific terms for inheritance or pass over their offspring in his will, which may invite legal wrangling after their death, and potentially violence during it.   The role of legitimized bastards throughout the Seven Kingdoms is also unclear i.e., whether they follow trueborn children, or join the line of succession in order of birth as if they had been trueborn all along. Legitimization, once made, is irreversible. The claims of legitimized bastards can present dangerous consequences for trueborn relatives. While unlegitimized bastards have no legal claim, they may still threaten legitimate descendants' inheritance.   Heirs born into a different house drop their birth surname when they come into their inheritance, adopting the name of the inherited house as their own.   When there is no clear heir, claims can be presented to the king.  

Loss of succession right

The right of succession may be renounced.   A king or lord can also name another as his heir. However, even in such cases, claims might still be made later on to higher authority.   Right of succession is also lost when someone becomes a member of the Night's Watch, a septon, a septa, a silent sister, a maester, or joins the Kingsguard. Traitors may be attainted, in which case even his descendants would lose their right to succeed.  

Inheritance of the Iron Throne

Inheritance customs for the Iron Throne differ from the inheritance customs in the rest of Westeros. It is widely thought that the common practice of male preference primogeniture will be maintained however the recent claim by conquest used by Baelon I has left many wondering if the succession of the throne will be based more on strength or political support than birthright.   It is possible that some of the kingdoms of old practiced different customs regarding the inheritance of their throne. The heir of King Argilac Durrandon, the last Storm King, was his maiden daughter, Princess Argella, while on the Three Sisters, Marla Sunderland was installed as queen shortly after Aegon's Conquest.  

Age of majority

For both boys and girls, eightteen is the age of legal majority. From that point, there are referred to as a "man grown" and "woman grown".   However, for girls, there are exceptions. A girl who has had her first flowering (i.e. first menstruation) is considered to be fit for both marriage and consummation of the marriage. Most highborn girls have their first flowering at the age of twelve or thirteen, bringing them in a somewhat ambigious position. They are considered to be "part child, part woman", and can be referred to as a "maid" or "maiden", and, even if she has not yet reached the age of eightteen, a "woman grown".   Young highborn boys can be sent away for fosterage to other noble families as early as six. While there are exceptions, it appears that boys who have reached the age of majority are free to go where they like, thereby ending their fosterage.   Ruling lords and ladies who inherit while still in their minority usually have a regent, who serves as the decision-making ruler until they come of age even if they have been betrothed, wed or even had children before their legal majority.  

Gender and Sexuality

Main article: Gender and Sexuality The various cultures across Westeros, Essos, and Sothoryos have diverse attitudes and social patterns regarding gender and sexuality.   Marriage Marriages are frequently preceded by a betrothal. Betrothals are expected to be arranged by the head of a house, both for his or her children and any unwed younger siblings. There is no age limit to betrothals or marriages. Children might be as young as two years old when betrothed although generally children are somewhat older. Marriages to girls who have not yet reached their majority or even their first flowering (i.e., has had her first menstruation) do happen, although not often. Usually, the bride has already reached her majority, or is even older, although marriages involving infants have also occurred, although this happens rarely and usually is only done for specific reasons.  

Marriage ceremonies

  Marriage customs vary considerably between the lands and major faiths, though all appear to be religious ceremonies between one man and one woman (who should not be more closely related than first cousins.) Wedding ceremonies involve the exchange of vows in the presence of particular sacred witnesses, and are followed by a feast, where the bride and groom eat and drink with everyone. Afterwards, the bedding takes place, where the marriage is consummated.   Wedding ceremonies differ between religions. While a priest is involved in ceremonies following the customs of the Faith of the Seven, Lord of Light, and likely the Ghiscari. Ceremonies involving the Faith, the Lord of Light, and the old gods involve the exchange of a "maiden's cloak" and a "bride's cloak".   Wedding ceremonies are generally followed by a feast, which in turn is followed by the bedding. For highborn weddings done by the Faith of the Seven, it is customary to present a wedding pie during the feast, filled with living birds. Dothraki wedding ceremonies might last the entire day, during which the guests feast, drink, dance, and fight. Towards the end the bride is presented with her bride gifts, after which the marriage will be consummated.  

Polygamy

While most marriages are between only one man and one woman, polygamous marriages do occur in the known world. Before the coming of the Andals to Westeros, kings from the Kingdom of the Reach and the Kingdom of the Storm practiced polygamy, as did the dragonlords and sorcerer princes in Valyria, albeit rarely. Polygamy is also practiced by some Dothraki khals. The "ancient ways" of the Dothraki stated that a khal might share his khaleesi with his bloodriders, a custom still practiced in some khalasars today.   Followers of the Drowned God are allowed to take multiple "salt wives" in addition to their "rock wife". Although only the children fathered upon the latter are considered trueborn, children fathered on salt wives still hold more rights than a man's bastards.  

First night

Lords in Westeros have the right to the first night, the custom of bedding newly-wed women before their husbands.   The practice is an ancient one, believed to be ten thousand years old. It was begun by the First Men of the Dawn Age, who only followed strength and bravery. It was considered a blessing for a warlord or hero to bestow his seed upon a bride on her wedding night, and if a child came of such a coupling, the husband would have the honor of raising the hero's offspring. This tradition remained after the coming of the Andals from Andalos, where Andals had not practiced the first night.   This privilege sometimes allowed kings to bed the noble wives of vassal lords and bannermen on their wedding night, although this rarely took place, as a shrewd ruler would be aware of the resentment this would cause and how easily it could make enemies. The tradition of the lord's right to the first night has led some commoners to marry in secret or not inform their lords of the marriage, as they have no wish to share their brides, nor did the bride often wish to be shared.  

Dragonseeds

When the Targaryens first came to Dragonstone from the Valyrian Freehold, they began practicing the tradition themselves. While the first night was is resented or loathed in much of the Seven Kingdoms, the smallfolk of Dragonstone viewed their beautiful rulers of Valyrian origin almost as gods. When a Lord of Dragonstone took his rights according to the first night custom, the brides were seen as "blessed", and the children born of such unions were often given lavish gifts by their father. Bastards who inherited Valyrian features such as purple eyes were said to be born of "dragonseed", and in time, they became known as "seeds".  

Under the Iron Throne

After the Conquest, King Aegon I Targaryen allowed the high lords to retain both the right of pit and gallows and the first night.   Gargon Qoherys, Lord of Harrenhal, was infamously known as "Gargon the Guest" for inviting himself to weddings throughout his holdings to invoke his lordly right of first night with the brides as frequently as possible. The despised Gargon was eventually murdered at the beginning of the rule of Aelyx I Targaryen by the rebel Harren the Red. Gargon bled to death after Harren cut off his genitals and fed them to dogs. Harren was only able to get to Gargon due to the actions of a servant at Harrenhal whose daughter Gargon had "honored" at her wedding.  

Funeral customs

Funeral customs can differ between followers of different religions, but also between families following the same religion. The Starks of Winterfell, followers of the old gods, bury their dead in the crypts in the castle, where the Kings of Winter and Lord of Winterfell are given a statue. At many other places in the north, barrows of the First Men can still be found. The funeral rites of the Tully's of Riverrun place the deceased members of their house in a boat which is sent downriver and lit afire. Followers of the Faith of the Seven can be buried with a crystal on their grave. The deceased of House Manderly have their bones placed in the Snowy Sept of White Harbor, surrounded by burning candles.   The Targaryens have the tradition of cremating their dead. It is unknown whether this tradition was practiced in the entire Valyrian Freehold, by all the dragonlords, or by House Targaryen alone, but it was described as a custom since the days of Old Valyria. If a dragon is available, it is used to light the flame of the pyre. The ashes are traditionally interred on Dragonstone, but some have been interred elsewhere or scattered on the wind.   Mourning clothes are black of color. Some might tear up their clothes as a sign of mourning. Houses can show marks of mourning as well, though these remain unspecified.   When Aegon the Conqueror died his body was placed beneath the Iron Throne where it remained for seven days. Embalming the body of the deceased involved removing the bowels, internal organs, and blood, and replaced with salt and fragrant herbs. During a funeral service lasting several days, prayers are held both in the morning and the evening; While the morning services are open only to nobility, the afternoon prayers are open to the smallfolk, and the evening prayers for all.   A great lord who dies away from home will usually be escorted back home. A funeral procession of a lord of high nobility can include an escort of knights, vassal lords, members of the household guard, and others. In any case, several silent sisters will accompany the body. Especially among the nobles, great importance is placed on returning the body to the family of the deceased, and failing to do so might be cause for resentment.  

Name days and naming customs

 

Birth

The day a child is born, he or she is also given a name that day, so a person's age is counted with their name day as the start. The only exception is free folk births, as they consider it bad luck to name their children before the age of two believing it to be bad luck if children are given a name at an earlier age, as child mortality is high north of the Wall. They can, however, decide on which name to give the child while the child is still younger.   In the Faith of the Seven, newborns are named in a sept and anointed with the seven oils. Newborn children among the ironborn may be drowned on their name day. Those who follow the old gods name their children before a heart tree if possible.   A person celebrating their name day may receive gifts from friends and family, and a feast may be held for them. A tourney may be held to celebrate a prince or king or noble's name day.   There are expressions such as "naked as his/her name day" and "wearing their name day suits" or "in her name day gown." Meaning wearing no clothes at all.   There is a song called "The Name Day Boy."  

Surnames

Upon marriage, noblewoman ruling in their own right retain their house name, though most women take their husband's surname. However, usage can vary. The consort of the reigning monarch retain their surname, as does the spouse of a royal prince. Conversely, a royal princess may take on the surname of her husband, but may prefer using the name of their royal house. If the family of the woman is significantly higher born than the family of the husband, the wife might chose to use mostly her maiden name, and her husband's name little, or not at all.   In Dorne, customs vary from the rest of Westeros. As firstborn children inherit in Dorne, following Rhoynish customs, females more frequently inherit their family's lands and titles. In such cases, they do not take the name of their husband.   Bastards with at least one noble parent can be given surnames by their parents. There are also traditional bastard surnames, which differ per region. These include "Waters" in the crownlands, "Sand" in Dorne, "Pyke" in the Iron Islands, "Snow" in the north, "Flowers" in the Reach, "Rivers" in the riverlands, "Storm" in the stormlands, "Stone" in the Vale of Arryn, and "Hill" in the westerlands.   When a male bastard has legitimate children, these children receive their father's bastard name, though a later generation might adjust the name as to remove the taint of bastardy, (e.g., House Longwaters). When a male and female noble-born bastard from a different region (i.e., with a different surname) marry, the child will most likely take the surname of the father. Parents can also decide to give their bastard a surname different from the "usual bastard surnames", e.g., Tanner, or no surname at all. Men who receive lands and knighthood might also take a (new) surname.   The bastards of two common born people do not receive a surname.  

Holy days

In Westeros, in custom to the Faith of the Seven, each of the seven gods have their own holiday. Maiden's Day, a day on which maidens of noble houses are required to go to the sept to light tall white candles at the Maiden's feet and hang parchment garlands about her neck, maidens also customarily fast for the seven days leading to Maiden's day to prove the strength of their innocence. Mothers, whores and widows are barred from the sept along with men. Those maidens who enter the sept sing songs of innocence. The Feast Day of Our Father Above (also known as the Fathers Feast) is considered to be the most propitious day for making judgments. There is also the Smith's Day and many new constructions break ground during Smith's day.   In the Free City of Qohor, the Black Goat of Qohor is given a daily blood sacrifice. Though usually animals (calves, bullocks, and horses) are used to this end, on holy days condemned criminals are sacrificed.  

Hospitality

The custom of guest right is both sacred rule and ancient. Hospitality can be offered by a lord upon the arrival of the host. The most common way of receiving guest right is by eating "bread and salt". Once guest right has been offered and accepted, the guests and hosts are protected from harm by one another for the length of the stay. Guest gifts can be given on the day the guests depart, possibly as a means of ending the protection of the guest right. Guest gifts are no longer given by all lords, however.   The obligations of hospitality are taken very seriously, both beyond the Wall and in the Seven Kingdoms, although more dearly in the north than in the southron kingdoms. Breaking guest right is rare in the north, but is punished similarly to the direst of treasons. Guest rights are practiced by, and extend to Highborn and lowborn both, and even robber lords and wreckers are bound by the ancient law of hospitality. Besides Westeros, guest right is also practiced in the Free City of Pentos.   A lord with a bared sword across his knees is making a traditional sign that he is denying guest right.  

History of the guest right

The legend of the Rat Cook of the Nightfort concerns guest right. Its song is used to represent the repercussions that await those who violate this sacred law of hospitality.   Maester Egbert wrote about northern violations of guest right in Justice and Injustice in the North: Judgments of Three Stark Lords, with only kinslaying being an equivalent crime.   Lord Lyman Lannister provided guest right to Prince Vaemon and Princess Rhaela Targaryen, protecting them from King Baelon I Targaryen. The royal couple had previously been denied guest right by Lords fearful of Baelon's retaliation.  

Pastimes

Nobles and smallfolk alike can participate in a variety of pastimes for their entertainment.   Children play with toys (e.g., puppets, barrel hoops, blocks, carved wooden statues, and dolls) or play a variety of games. Noble born children, especially when they grow older, are expected to train in several skills for their entertainment as well as general education. Both boys and girls learn to ride horses. Girls are taught womanly arts, which include sewing, embroidering, dancing, singing, writing poetry, or playing musical instruments (e.g., the high harp or the bells). From a certain age and onwards, boys begin to train in martial skills. Usually starting at a young age, boys are trained with spear, sword, and shield. Younger boys train with wooden swords. By the time boys are twelve, they have often been training at arms for years.   Places adults might like to visit for their entertainment include taverns and brothels. Most nobles are literate, and therefore might prefer to spend their times reading books. Nobles might prefer to sail for their pleasure, or simply take a horse ride, sometimes to pick flowers or feast outdoors. Both adults and children, noble and smallfolk, enjoy swimming in lakes, rivers, pools, and moats.  

Games

Westerosi children's games include come-into-my-castle, monsters-and-maidens, hide-the-treasure, hopfrog, spin-the-sword, and rats and cats. Popular among children from House Frey at the Twins is the game lord of the crossing, named for the title held by the head of House Frey.   Children in Meereen play a game involving sitting in a circle and taking turns to spin a dagger. When it stops, they cut off a lock of hair from whoever the dagger is pointing at. There is a similar game played in the Reach except it involves kissing and can sometimes be played with a bottle, or a wooden spoon from the kitchens.   The finger dance is a game played by the ironborn of the Iron Islands, and involves throwing a hand axe which must be caught or leaped over without missing a step. The game is named for the fact that it usually ends with a dancer losing one or more of his fingers.   Cyvasse is a board game of military strategy originating from Volantis. It is also played in Lys, but is practically unknown in Westeros.  

Hunting

Both male and female nobles might hunt for sport. Men might like to hunt a large variety of animals, like boar, aurochs, or deer. Hunting hounds might be used. When hunting boar, a boarspear is needed, as well as horses and dogs, and men to flush the boar from its lair. Women do not generally join such hunting parties.   Both men and women can practice a more specific form of hunting: falconry (frequently called "hawking"), "the sport of hunting with falcons, hawks, eagles, or other birds of prey." Nobles might own a falcon (e.g., Jon Arryn, Ardrian Celtigar, Robert I Baratheon, and Margaery Tyrell), an eagle (Willas Tyrell), or a hawk (Stannis Baratheon) of their own.   Hunts can be dangerous, and accidents during a hunt are common enough that they might be faked in order to assassinate someone. Although hawking is much safer, deathly accidents still occur. Lord Luthor Tyrell rode off a cliff whilst hawking, while Lady Rhea Royce suffered a lethal wound when she was thrown off her horse whilst hawking.  

Combat

Main articles: Tourneys, Martial games, and Fighting pits Popular in Westeros are tourneys, chivalrous competitions where men compete against one another either in a joust, a melee, an archery competition. The format and rules used during a tourney can vary between different regions in Westeros, demonstrating the desires of the hosting lord. Westerosi additionally participate in bear-baiting and boar-baiting. Rat pits are also popular in the slum districts of major cities such as King's Landing and Oldtown, though bulls and dogs also often fight in the pits.   The Ghiscari cities in Slaver's Bay prefer to watch gladiatorial combats in the fighting pits. These pits can be found in at least Astapor and Meereen. Within these pits, the both male and female pit fighters battle either one another, or an animal, until one dies. Additionally, children might be made to fights against wild animals.  

Gambling

Other pastimes include gambling, like playing at dice or tiles. The latter can be three-sided. However, bets can be placed upon anything, including the outcome of a tournament.  

Mummers and music

Mummers, singers, and puppeteers often travel from place to place in Westeros and Essos. While singers often travel alone, mummers and puppeteers travel in troupes, performing their acts wherever they go. Places located more remotely, like Winterfell or Bear Island, might not be visited by traveling entertainment for years or seasons on end. Traveling singers, called "wandering singers", rarely travel far north. Tourneys and weddings can attract mummer troupes and singers. Additionally, mummers, singers, and puppeteers can find service with a lord or lady.   Some mummer groups prefer to perform from a fixed location, such as the Blue Lantern and the Dome, two playhouses in Braavos, or the mummers' hall in White Harbor. At least in the mummers' playhouses in Braavos, the mummers play out written stories, instead of making up farces.   In Essos, mummer troupes might contain enslaved mummers. These slaves can buy themselves free once they have gained enough wealth.  

Idioms and sayings

Westeros

Dark wings, dark words. Words are wind. What the king dreams, the Hand builds. The king eats, the Hand takes the shit. (a cruder version of the precedent saying) A Lannister always pays his debts. Oak and iron, guard me well, or else I'm dead, and doomed to hell. (an old shield rhyme) A naked man has few secrets, but a flayed man has none. (a Bolton saying) What is dead may never die, but rises again, harder and stronger. (an Ironborn saying) How many eyes does Lord Bloodraven have? A thousand eyes, and one. (a Westerosi riddle) The Wall has more moods than Mad King Aerys. (a Night's Watch saying) Kings and corpses always draw attendants. Half of the Ullers are half-mad, and the other half are worse. (a Dornish saying) Bleed a cold but feast a fever. Never drink with Dornishmen when the moon is full. Summer friends will melt away like summer snows, but winter friends are friends forever.

Essos

The Iron Bank will have its due. Bricks and blood built Astapor, and bricks and blood her people. A warlock's house is built of bones and lies. (a Qartheen saying)